AT DARK, I BECOME LOATHSOME by Eric LaRocca – Review

I received this book for free from the Publisher in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.

AT DARK, I BECOME LOATHSOME by Eric LaRocca – ReviewAt Dark, I Become Loathsome by Eric LaRocca
Published by Blackstone Publishing on January 28 2025
Genres: Adult, Horror
Pages: 178
Format: ARC
Source: Publisher
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four-stars

The nitty gritty: An emotional journey through grief and self-loathing, Eric LaRocca’s latest is a dark, gut punch of a story.

“The world is nothing more than a carnivorous plant that devours the things that are the softest and most delicate.”

Eric LaRocca has come up with yet another intense, emotional story about damaged people and how they cope. At Dark, I Become Loathsome is a harrowing look at suicide ideation, gender identity, fatherhood and sexual desire, and it’s not for the faint of heart. Please note trigger warnings for body horror, graphic violence, child death and suicide ideation, and proceed with caution if you aren’t familiar with the author’s other works.

Ashley Lutin is in a dark place. In fact, since the death of his wife Pema from cancer and the disappearance of his eight-year-old son Bailey, he’s changed his outward appearance, adding more and more piercings and extreme body modifications, hoping they will offset the pain of what he’s going through. Ashley has also developed a ritual for others like him, those who have lost the desire to live and need help finding their way back. For a fee, he will bury the “client” alive in a coffin for thirty minutes, and when he digs that person up, they will have gone through a profound change for the better—theoretically.

One evening, Ashley meets an individual in a chatroom who tells him a depraved story that captures Ashley’s imagination. When this person decides to utilize his “ritual,” Ashley is faced with a terrible decision. Because the man—Jinx—tells him something awful, and now things will never be the same.

What could have been a depressing story full of grotesque imagery becomes something much deeper because of Ashley and his past tragedies. Ashley has gender identity issues and considers himself to be bisexual, and these issues are even more heartbreaking when we delve into his past as a father. Throughout the story, Ashley imagines he sees and talks to the ghosts of Pema and Bailey, although he fervently believes that Bailey is alive, since the police are still searching for him. I loved these ghostly sections, which make the story even more emotional, and I felt for Ashley, who is clearly in pain and considers himself a monster.

La Rocca includes several epistolary sections. First, interspersed among the main narrative are excerpts from Ashley’s instruction manual for his ritual, explaining to his clients what they can expect to happen. I enjoyed these sections, which break up the otherwise serious and depressing story. He also includes chatroom text between Ashley and Jinx, which introduces us to Jinx and also feels like a warning of what’s to come.

Overall, I thought this was extremely well written and had just enough of LaRocca’s signature horror elements to satisfy their fans plus a surprisingly emotional story that will hook new readers. Ashley is probably the most interesting of the author’s characters I’ve come across, even though he scared me at times.

Big thanks to the publisher for providing a review copy.

Posted January 30, 2025 by Tammy in 4 stars, Reviews / 18 Comments


18 responses to “AT DARK, I BECOME LOATHSOME by Eric LaRocca – Review

  1. Roberta R.

    What Susy’s said. I know certain stories are needed, but I don’t think I could stomach this one…and yet.

  2. Wow this sounds like it’s an incredibly powerful story but I’m not sure that it wouldn’t be too dark and heavy for me given everything that’s going on. It just doesn’t sound like the kind of book I’d pick up and yet you’ve still made it sound really good.

  3. Barb @ Booker T's Farm

    I can see picking this up eventually but given the month I’ve had, I’m pretty sure I need to wait a while.

  4. I appreciate the various trigger warnings. Though I don’t think I’m really triggered by much, per se, there are certain types of books I may not be up for reading at just any particular point in time, but I might love the book if in the right mood. So it’s always good to know ahead of time when a book might be one of those.

  5. I don’t think this is for me at the moment. That cover makes me feel squeamish as it is. I can only look at it for a few seconds. Want to think about though. I think the right mood is needed.
    Lynn 😀

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