GATE CRASHERS by Patrick S. Tomlinson – Review

On humanity’s first extra-solar mission, the exploration vessel Magellan discovers an alien construction. Deciding that finding advanced alien life is too important to ignore, the ship’s captain chooses to return to Earth while reverse engineering technology far beyond anything back home.

Meanwhile, at mission control, the governments struggle to maintain the existence of aliens a secret while also combating bureaucracy, the military industrial complex, and everyone else who wants a piece of the science that could sky-rocket a species into a new technological golden age.

Little does everyone involved know that the bumbling of a few highly-evolved apes in space hasn’t gone unnoticed, and humanity has put itself on a collision course with a far wider, and potentially hostile, galaxy.

Because, in space, no one can see you screw up…

My review:

Gate Crashers by Patrick S. Tomlinson
Release date: June 26 2018
Publisher: Tor Books
Page Count: 416
Genre: Adult science fiction
Purchase the book: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | The Book Depository | IndieBound | Goodreads

The nitty-gritty: Full of humor and heart, this first contact, galaxy-busting story is a ton of fun.

I’ll admit I said “yes” to a review copy of Gate Crashers because of the title, and I ended up enjoying it because of the  hysterical humor, the unexpectedly enjoyable hard science elements, and some very human and heartwarming moments between humans and aliens. Although I did have some issues with the length and pacing of the story, which I’ll dive into later in this review, I ended up with a huge smile on my face at the end. For readers who love humor of the “stand-up” variety and enjoy keen observations of the human condition woven into an action-packed narrative, you’ll probably really enjoy this book.

The story focuses on four different groups of people scattered throughout the universe: Captain Allison Ridgeway and her crew aboard the Magellan, a deep space vessel on a long mission of exploration; a crack scientist on Earth named Felix who is about to make some startling discoveries; a more or less peaceful alien race called Lividites, who must take drugs in order to feel any emotions, and another, more aggressive group of aliens called the Turemok, who have established a sort of “no fly” zone around Earth to deter other aliens from invading their atmosphere.

When the story begins, Allison is woken from stasis when the crew member on guard spots a strange artifact in space that isn’t moving. Much like Captain Picard from Star Trek: the Next Generation, Allison instructs her crew to bring the artifact on board for further observation. Once they determine that the object is alien in nature, the crew of the Magellan begins a collaboration with gravity propulsion expert Felix Fletcher back on Earth, who has been tasked with reverse engineering the artifact so that it can be studied. This is achieved by a fascinating invention called a Quantum Entanglement Radio, or “QER” for short, which allows instantaneous communication between Earth and a vessel many light years away in space.

But unbeknownst to Captain Ridgeway and her crew, the aliens who placed the mysterious artifact in space have discovered its theft have started tracking and following the Magellan. And they aren’t the only ones in the galaxy who have noticed the humans’ bumbling attempts at space exploration. As the Magellan races toward home, and the team on Earth attempts to figure out its secrets, a clash of species in space seems imminent.

I have to admit, Gate Crashers made me laugh out loud quite a few times while I was reading, which is admittedly hard to do. I tend to be very picky about my humor, and even though there is a fair amount of low-brow humor that typically makes me groan—and by low-brow I mean penis jokes, people—most of the humor worked really well. The subject matter of aliens and first contact alone has plenty of potential for well done humor, and Tomlinson doesn’t shy away from inserting jokes about the Roswell alien landing and poking fun of pop culture. One of my favorites was a book that Allison used as a reference guide called First Contact for Dummies. The author also shines a sarcastic light on our current political and social climate by creating a group of highly intelligent animals who have formed an organization called the Association for the Advancement of Non-Human Persons, which includes such creatures as elephants, chimpanzees, and dolphins. And of course there are plenty of opportunities for funny misunderstandings between different species who are coming together for the first time.

As for the characters, D’armic was probably my favorite. The Lividites are unique because they need to take drugs to feel emotions, which they do in certain situations. (Also, side note: every time I read the name “D’armic” I flashed back to the STtNG episode called Darmok. I’m not sure if the author intended his name as a tribute to that iconic  Star Trek episode, but if so it really worked for me!) The Lividites also have the appearance of the typical alien whose image has been fed to us through countless movies and TV shows, the tall, thin grey creature with huge eyes. That appearance also worked well when the explanation for Roswell comes up.

Gate Crashers really took off for me starting about midway through the story, but up until that point it felt a bit slow to get going. There is a lot that needs to be explained in the beginning, as Tomlinson sets up his vast world. Not only are there four main POVs to contend with, each set in a different place in the universe, but there is the stretch of time involved from start to finish that tripped me up a few times. Because the concepts that the author is dealing with are complex scientific advancements that take years to develop and perfect, there are some odd time leaps between chapters that felt abrupt and confusing. For example, a chapter might end with Felix discovering the purpose of the alien artifact, but when the next chapter starts, we’ve jumped forward several years, skipping over the mundane parts of the scientific process so that Tomlinson can get to the action. Now don’t get me wrong, I appreciated these leaps to some extent, but it didn’t feel quite as organic as it should have. Also, the main characters never seem to change at all from year to year, and it would have been more realistic to see some kind of shift in their lives, a change in their relationships, or even new characters coming into the story, things that happen naturally when you’re talking about a span of ten years or so.

The last few chapters give us the epic space battle that the author has been hinting at, although it’s wrapped up a bit quickly for my tastes. However, the ending was perfect. Tomlinson gives us a feel-good emotional moment between Allison and D’armic that had me grinning from ear to ear. Despite a few pacing glitches, I had so much fun with Gate Crashers.

Big thanks to the publisher for supplying a review copy.

About the author:

PATRICK S. TOMLINSON is a man of many hats. In addition to writing Sci-Fi novels and shorts, he prowls theaters, clubs, and bars throughout the Midwest performing as a stand-up comedian. Between gigs, cons, and rewrites, he works as a pundit and frequent political contributor, with columns appearing in publications such as The Hill and The New York Times. In the little downtime remaining, Patrick enjoys hobbies such as motorcycling, model-building, and shooting. He lives in Milwaukee with his fiancée, two cats, a bearded dragon, and a 2008 Bullitt Edition Mustang named Susan.

You can find him online at www.patrickstomlinson.com and on Twitter as @stealthygeek.